Unflappable

Vice Party

There are the typical holidays with the typical vices: New Year’s (alcohol), Birthdays (cake), Christmas (gizmos from China). And then there’s the underground hush-hush vice parties, like orgies or coke parties. But why limit yourself? There are so many other vices to explore!

• Pride party: sit around and talk about how awesome you are. Especially brag about how you won that jungle-gym competition from the third grade.
• Obscenity party: all partygoers must insert an obscenity into every uttered thought.
• Anger party: Sit around and bitch about stuff. Bring pillows to scream into. Punching bag provided.
• Lazy party: bring a box full of work to do (unpaid bills, overdue reports, books to read), set the box off to the side, then sit by the pool and name the clouds.