Unflappable

Trader Joe's

• Mike: So, I keep hearing about how awesome you are.
• Trader Joe: That's right! Everyone loves me, and I offer fantastic prices.
• Mike: Great, great. How much for a tomato?
• Trader Joe: Four tomatoes, that'll be--
• Mike: --No, no, I just need one.
• Trader Joe: I only sell them in packs of four. Four for the price of three!
• Mike: But I only need one.
• Trader Joe: Surely you can find use for four tomatoes!
• Mike: Maybe two... but the other two will go bad before I get a chance to use them. So that's two tomatoes for the price of three.
• Trader Joe: I -- well, um...
• Mike: That's a waste, don't you think?
• Trader Joe: You love Trader Joe's.... Jedi mind trick....
• Mike: What? Dude, you're not supposed to actually say "Jedi mind trick". Look, how about I just buy something else. Do you have any --
• Trader Joe: --We have wine and crackers.
• Mike: Let me guess, I have to buy four bottles of wine.
• Trader Joe: Actually we sell single bottles for $2.
• Mike: What the fuck?
• Trader Joe: You love Trader Joe's!
• Mike: I love Trader Joe's!